Here you go guys - knock yourselves out. Anything I think is off topic will be moved here.
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Only if that’s what you make it 
I’m a quick, but sloppy reader, I initially read “topless banter” rather than “topicless”, sort of a bra (or no bra to be exact!) rather than bar thing. 
There is, of course, a difference, can you imagine my disappointment at my arrival here, Doug? Sehr schade …
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If I may be allowed to be on topic:
To me Ian Gillan is one of the most funny lyricists I have ever had the pleasure to listen to!
To have some fun and maybe even some coarse jokes is certainly the way Ian is…
I am pretty sure he, Ian that is, would have so much fun going against ALL reatrictions.
Yet you don’t behave that way on his Facebook page.
You think anyone in the band even saw the cover?
What way dear? 
Unless you have been at my private fb page 
No - if you are who I think you are, we’ve only met once and that was in 2001. I simply meant that your posts on Gillan’s Facebook page are respectful and relevant to the post you are replying to.
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You think anyone of the band would have disapproved of it, Doug? You are a gullible man then.
Jon and Litte Ian didn’t even raise their voices about this here:
Woah! Doug and Karin were a couple once, the plot, it doth thicken …
As usual, I’m all ears and ready ’n willin’ to misconstrue anything!
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Jon and Ian were hired hands, which is ultimately why both left. I’m not sure they got a vote. But this also isn’t the 1970s anymore.
Nah - I think I sold her t-shirt once in Helsingborg…
Now I’m intrigued…
Who do you think I am then?
Pssst: it is my name here
Gasp - you don’t find me respectful here? 
As I said - someone I sold a t-shirt to at the gig in Helsingborg in 2001
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Uwe, I have never met him!
I have never been to Helsingborg
I am born and raised in Denmark, and only seldom visit foreign countries! And never to buy t-shirts
Who is the lady he took me for?
How I wish it was this gal:
https://youtu.be/Bh_sJW_tvKs?is=o0wcS7kRjFtcGARC
Or maybe this amazing person:
https://youtu.be/T3qqRZhWzDI?is=e4t3oAaWPWihhSeW
(No not Brian, but one of the chorus girlies)
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But Doug, I’ve never been to Helsingborg…
Could it have been New York? Guess not, since I never was there either 
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Oh well, in that case you’re not who I thought.
You just look like a Danish woman who was rather taken by my kilt, and what was worn under it, when I was working on the t-shirt stall in Helsingborg.
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You two lovebirds …
I’m gonna use all my notorious research might to get behind this, trust me!
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